Saturday, April 01, 2006

Happy April! We Have Good News!

Rural Action Sustainable Agriculture has won a $500,000 grant to combat alien cow abduction in our region. "It's a daunting issue. Untold numbers of cows have vanished from dairy farms in Southern Ohio," said Tom Redfern, the Sustainable Agriculture Coordinator. The grant funds a pilot project to paint bovines with invisible dye that shows up under artificial light, for post-theft identification. To learn more about alien cow abduction, click here.

Terrible News!

The recently-installed Essex Doser near New Straitsville, home of the Moonshine Festival, was busted Wednesday evening for being a clandestine still. Mike Steinmaus, coordinator of the Monday Creek Restoration Project, was taken in for questioning, where reportedly he declared, "I am Mike: the man, the myth, the moonshiner!"

Bail money may be mailed to: PO Box 129, New Straitsville, OH 43766.

Rebecca Black, a “water-quality specialist,” uses a pH tester to “measure acid levels” in the creek near the Essex Doser.

Important AmeriCorps*VISTA stipend update

Effective immediately, AmeriCorps*VISTA members will be paid in monopoly money, a spokeswoman for the state office of the Corporation for National and Community Service announced Thursday. Speaking on condition of anonymity, a VISTA serving with Rural Action said, "I hope that I can use this as a down payment on a house after my VISTA term is up."

New Community Mural Alarms Passersby

Volunteer Opportunities
Volunteers are desperately needed for the following tasks at Rural Action’s Trimble office:
  • Scouring the Trimble bathroom, last cleaned four years ago,
  • Removing invasive species that have started growing in our fridge, and
  • Helping AmeriCorps*VISTA member Sara Peach locate a contact lens. She lost it somewhere in the Trimble parking lot and won’t be able to proofread the next newsletter until it’s found.
Upcoming Events

Garlic mustard, one of the invasive species to be planted in April.

Invasive Species Planting
Sunday, April 16, 9 a.m.
Join staff and volunteers of Rural Action Sustainable Forestry for a planting of autumn olive, multiflora rose, and other invasive species in critical habitat areas. Volunteers will receive instructions on how to best distribute the plants so that they choke out indigenous species.

Sunday Creek Benefit Garbage Toss

Last year's Styrofoam cup race was such a huge success that we've decided to hold it again as part of the garbage tossing festivities. Your kids will love it!

Saturday, April 29, 3 p.m.
For $5 each, community members are invited to offload trash into the Sunday Creek behind Glouster Park, to benefit the Sunday Creek Watershed Group. “Yeah, it’s weird for our group to encourage dumping,” said Cara Hardesty, Sunday Creek Watershed Group Coordinator. “But what the heck, at least we'll know exactly where all the garbage is!”

New Member Welcome
We are pleased to announce our newest member, Bernie Mac. Reportedly, he joined because his grandmother lives in Nelsonville.

Wish List Item of the Week
Well, it looks like we’ll be needing a new doser, since the sheriff took ours away. If you can provide one, contact Robin at

Fun Fact

Per capita, Americans eat 70 hot dogs each year.



NOTE: The above is wholly and entirely false, except for the thing about the hot dogs.


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